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Surviving Bad Relationships

By Gina D.

Can you survive a bad relationship? Of course you can... I'm sure we can all relate to a relationship that went bad for one reason or another. Even though I consider myself a good woman. I've had my share of bad relationships.

I've actually had two of my ex boyfriend's tell me that I was the best thing that ever happened to them. And if given a second chance they would make things up to me. If they didn't appreciate me or do right by me then, I sure don't feel any obligation to them now. Nor do I look back or dwell on the past. I've moved on with no regrets........

Do you know what it takes to move on from a bad relationship?

After alot of praying and soul searching I found my answer. For me it was forgiveness..... I had to forgive my exes and let go of any past hurt's and pain's before I could move on to a happy future.

I am now into my third year of a loving relationship with the man of my dreams. I found in him everything that I have ever dreamt of finding in a man. We've both been thru some trying times in prior relationships which at times may carry over into our current relationship. But as I've always told him, "I'm not going anywhere." I am proud to be his woman and look forward to a happy future together.

A good friend of mine once told me he's never been in a loving relationship where his partner was so openly and verbally expressive with their love for him. He was just not used to it...He almost felt uncomfortable at times with the love he received from his new girlfriend. He wasn't used to a woman's gentle touch brushing up against his face or chest. Hearing that made me sad....

So if your lucky like me to have a good man or good woman in your life. Hold onto them. Tell them you love them. Dont be afraid to open up and express your feelings to them.

If you truly love someone, having money or material things shouldn't matter to you either. It doesn't cost you a thing to tell your man or woman that you love them. Sometimes it's the little things that you say or do that matter the most.

I thank God for answering my prayers by bringing this wonderful man into my life. Hopefully he feels the same way about me.

I'll end this merely by saying that I'm truly blessed.....

I have been very lucky with all my relationships and only once did I have to learn a harsh lesson.

Old Coot,
Thanks for your comments. Sounds like you have been pretty lucky.
Gina

Thanks Lady D. Sounds like you have been blessed with a good man too.....
Gina

All I can say after all my bad relationships is you are truly a "lucky woman" - it is very hard to find a good man, especially that is open to starting from scratch. I hope you both are very happy.

Thanks for your kind words Magreth, I consider myself to be truly blessed...Keep your head up. When you least expect it a special person will come into your life. Who knows, they may have always been there all along. Never loose faith my friend.
God bless you,
Gina

Thank you for sharing. I believe that every relationship is a relationship with ourselves. Every experience is valid and a process for learning about who we are. A "bad" one may simply be a lesson on loving ourselves better and a good one may be a lesson in accepting that we are deserving of loving and being loved by a good person.

Hi Nora,

I totally agree with you. People will only treat you badly if you allow it. Thank you for folowing me back.

Regards,
Gina

I've had many relationships and walked away from most of them, too. I am still searching for the "perfect" love that is imperfect yet just right for me. I agree the forgiveness is the key, and no regrets. Holding on to the past makes the future oh so murky. Thanks for the good advice.

Thanks Susanna for your kind words. You hang in there. I truly believe that "Good things happen to those who wait".

Gina

Susanna, your comment has touched a nerve and a memory. After my last bad relationship I wrote a poem called Post Mortem the first line of which was "Why, when it's over, do you want to know why?"; this helped me move on (maybe I should publish it as an Intel).

That started me on a long study, the first draft of which was only completed earlier this week; the first part of which can be found here at Relationships - Preface.

I do commend to you the “Doctrine of the Perfect Partner" which appears in a novel by Iain M Banks.

Roy Law Aug 21, 2010 11:10

Nice intel Gina,
Finally your prayers are answered by the almighty!
envy68

envy68 Sep 5, 2010 09:39

I'm so happy for you, Gina. For myself, I'm told I have an independent nature, lol. That was from an ex and he was probably right on the mark. All my ex's have returned only to find that I don't need them and I'm contented to live without them. So right now I'm foot loose and fancy free of relationships. I'm pleased with that.
Wynn

Gimme A Dream Sep 26, 2010 20:08

Thanks to Gina there have also been some great comments here; in particular, both Nora and Gimme A Dream are lucky to have recognised the paradox that it is essential that both partners have good relationships with themselves.

Roy Law Sep 27, 2010 03:15

Marriage is not always perfect, but you have to learn to always forgive and move on, 50 years married, 5 children, 14 great grand children, 10 great grand children, and still all alive, I am truly blessed, and lucky to be able to live life to full extent and the age of 70. thanks for your intel, glad life is good for you now.

WOW!!!! 50 years is certainly an accomplishment. It is truly a blessing from God. May you continue to receive all of the blessings you surely deserve.

God bless you always,
Gina

This is a very interesting Intel. I enjoyed reading this article and the information was very informative. Keep up the great works!

Spiritdancer Nov 1, 2010 11:59

We are all Blessed by your intel and the added comments, Gina.
Thank you for sharing.
Keep up the good work.
Best to you.
Frederick

frederick Nov 15, 2010 17:08

Gina, I read with interest this Intel. I have been married for 43 years and it truly is a blessing.

I've found from listening to others who have not been quite as fortunate that an element that sometimes leads to problems is the unrealistic expectations that one or both of the marriage partners may have. Romance novels, popular magazines, television programs and movies can create hopes and dreams that are far removed from real life. When these dreams do not come true, a person can feel cheated, dissatisfied, even bitter. It takes work to achieve a successful relationship.

I've found a good rule to follow when disagreements arise is: "be swift about hearing, slow about speaking, slow about wrath." James 1:29 After listening carefully, BOTH partners might see the need to apologize. Saying with sincerity, "Sorry for hurting you," takes humility and courage. But handling differences in this manner will go a long way in helping a married couple not only solve their problems but also to develop a warmth and intimacy that will make them find more pleasure in each other's company. For what it's worth, this has helped my hubby and I.

Hi Laraine,

Thanks for sharing your great advice and good rule with us. I can see how you've remained married for 43 years. That is truly a blessing from God.

May you continue to be blessed always,

Kind regards,
Gina

I'm pleased things are working out for you. I have my 33rd wedding anniversary coming up. I have a lovely wife who is also my best friend and soul mate.

33 years of marriage. Nice.....I always enjoy hearing about long and happy marriages.

God Bless
Gina

I like the part about money and material things not being so important. Say that in New York City -- where I am -- and a lot of people will doubt you. But I've found that it works. Find the right person and material stuff doesn't matter. You can find a way with or without a lot of material stuff. Best of luck in your relationships/loves.

Thanks for leaving a comment Noo. LOL...I've never been to New York, so I can't speak on that.

But it doesn't matter where you live, I'm sure alot of people would probably doubt someone if they said money and material things don't matter. But as you have found out too, it does work. You just have to find the right person as you said.

I've never been a materialistic person. I know some people that look like a million bucks, yet their always broke.

Have a Happy New Year,
Gina

Gina, I just rated an intel that is still pending a few more raters, entitled "Touchy Subject" ~ the author is stronger than she thinks. I strongly believe and agree that anyone can survive/recover from bad relationship(s). Prayer is the key that frees one from mental and physical bondage.

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